He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
