Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
