So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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