i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
