Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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