very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
