I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
