Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
