Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I just want nice things and good sex
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
