I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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