am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
