another moral hangover. fuck.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
