And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
