A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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