You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
