and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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