Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
We left the knife in your bed.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
