I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
