...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
