So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Bring me that man meat
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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