i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Welp...herpes.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Randomize
