My sheets look like a crime scene.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
