is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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