oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
