Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
