You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
