She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
