i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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