sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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