She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
