Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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