well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
