It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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