You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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