i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
