i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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