$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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