just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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