just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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