Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
