So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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