yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
