let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
