yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
