Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
