Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
