The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
