There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Randomize
