she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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