I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
