I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
